The Role of the Family in Facing the Impact of Advances in Information Technology on the Lives of Children and Adolescents (Review of Islamic Psychology)

interacting with friends, family, etc.), and the need for tension relief (escape and diversion).


INTRODUCTION
Modern human life cannot be separated from information technology because all areas of life use this technology system for effectiveness and efficiency. Like other technologies (nuclear energy, etc.), information technology is very beneficial for life, but on the other hand, it will become a "destroyer" if it is in the wrong hands and used in the wrong way. For example, information technology is useful for banking data networks, transportation networks, E-KTP, E-Money, dissemination of knowledge, Change is a natural thing in life, as well as changes in technology always occur along with the development of science. Technological changes have affected many aspects of life, including family life. The family as the most basic social organization inevitably has to adapt to all changes. Currently, the development of information technology has reached various areas of life and has become a primary need for every family. However, the parties most vulnerable to receiving negative impacts are children and adolescents. The family plays a central role in overseeing the development of children amidst the pace of technological change. This paper will review the impact of technological advances on family life, especially for the growth and development of children and adolescents in a review of Islamic Psychology. The role of the family in replacing the fulfillment of needs which is the motive for children and adolescents to use the internet is also discussed using the Uses & Gratification theory. This U & G theory identifies five groups of basic needs in media, namely cognitive needs (obtaining information, knowledge, and understanding), affective needs (emotions, pleasure/satisfaction, and feelings), personal integrative needs (credibility, stability, and status), the need for social integration (interacting with friends, family, etc.), and the need for tension relief (escape and diversion).
The excessive use of information technology in children and adolescents not only has a short-term effect but also has a long-term impact on children's development from the physical, intellectual, emotional, social, and moral aspects. It is this long-term influence that often cannot be felt directly, but will influence the child's life little by little until it changes the character and behavior at a later age. Therefore, conditioning children in utilizing this technology must be done from an early age. For example, the long-term health risks experienced by children and adolescents occur when they use mobile phones (gadgets) where there is RF (radio frequency) radiation which can only be observed after decades as brain tumors, various cancers, and other diseases. nerves (a neurodegenerative disease). When gadgets are used, the brain is the main target of RF radiation which will increase the risk factors for brain tumors (Lennart Hardell, 2018).
This concern must receive follow-up from various parties, especially families, the world of education, and the government, because according to the Ministry of Communication and Information of the Republic of Indonesia, in Indonesia itself 80 percent of internet users consist of teenagers aged 15-19 years. Whereas in reality, teenagers use the internet not only for educational needs but also for entertainment, shopping, social media, and so on (Noviandari L, 2015).
Penetration of internet users based on age shows that children and adolescents aged 13-18 years are the most internet users (75.5%), so families, in this case, parents, have a responsibility to consider the good and bad effects of the internet for children. In this case, the family is not only the most basic unit in society but also an important place for the physical and mental development of individuals. A family is formed by each member of the family. At the same time, the family influences every member of the family and plays an important role in the operational processes of the social system (Dai, L.T. and Wang, L.N., 2015). Therefore changes in information technology as a part of the operational process of the social system must be followed up by families by making adjustments that refer to optimizing the physical and mental development of family members, especially children, and adolescents.

METHOD
This segment should inform the reader about the materials and methods the author used for the research. Please ensure that sufficient information has been provided to allow for the repetition of the study. Sample quote: (Zhao, Jiang, & Yin, 2019).

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION Definition of Family
Indonesia has formulated the notion of family as stated in Law No. 10/1992 concerning Population Development and Prosperous Family Development. The drafting team defined the family as the smallest unit in a society consisting of husband and wife, husband and wife and their children, fathers, and children, or mothers and children (BKKBN, 1992).
Whereas the family as part of the social system in society shows how the process of running a family is an indicator of the good or bad of the community, more specifically the success of the family is also considered a reflection of the success of the government. In Article 5 (1) of the Republic of Indonesia Law Number 11 of 2009 concerning Social Welfare, the family is placed at the core and central to developing the strength of the nation and state, because phenomenologically the people are united in the families. Family strength means the strength of the state and nation. On the other hand, the weakness of the family is an opaque mirror of the government in carrying out its leadership management wheel, nurturing, providing guidance, motivation, stimulation, and alternative variations for the people to make their life choices (Tumanggor Rusmin, 2010).

Family Functions
In theories about family functions, two approaches are usually used, namely, first, result oriented, which defines family functions by describing the special features of the family, and second, process-oriented, which describes family functions from the tasks that must be met by the family (Op.cit. Dai & Wang).
Result orientation theory is represented by Olson's annular mode theory, while process orientation is represented by McMaster's family function theory.
Olson's family function theory can be divided into three dimensions: family intimacy, family adaptability, and family communication. The level of family intimacy is the relationship between family members, family adaptability is the family's need to change the power structure, role assignments, or the ability of family rules to deal with external environmental pressures or marital development, and family communication is communication between family members, where this is important in intimacy development and family adaptability.
McMaster's family function theory divides the family into six family capabilities in realizing basic functions and abilities in fulfilling basic tasks. The six types are 1) problem solving, namely maintaining effective family functioning, family solving problems that threaten the family as a whole, and functional capacity problems. 2) communication (communication)communication of information between family members can be known directly at any time. 3) family roles (family roles) are patterns of behavior shown by family members to complete family functions. 4) affective response (affective response) is the level of the emotional response of family members to stimulate other family members. 5) affective involvement (affective involvement) is the level of care and attention of family members in every activity and other things between them. 6) behavior control (behavior control) is a different behavior control model in different situations of a family.
Many theories mention family functions, but this is still a controversy that is currently being discussed by researchers, and family functions are still heavily influenced by culture, especially if we adhere to eastern culture. However, several family functions are always mentioned in family functions in general, namely the function of reproduction and the function of socialization. Both of these functions are important functions in the maintenance and continuity of the social system through the development of human resources. The following table shows the difference in function according to several sources: Based on the description of the family and its functions, it can be concluded that the family is the spearhead for the community in dealing with problems that come, be it problems that come directly affecting the entire community or affecting individuals in society. A family is also a place for the physical and mental development of individuals, and individuals continue to be in it throughout their life span. Therefore the family as the smallest social system must have resilience and resilience in dealing with problems from outside and from within, the goal is that family members are in a prosperous condition and develop optimally, and the combination of these smallest social systems will eventually form a reliable community unit.

Information Technology
Information technology or what lay people often call the internet is a global connection of thousands of networks that are managed freely. The internet is becoming popular because it is the right medium to get the latest information with various variations quickly and easily.
Information technology (IT) is another name for computer technology, which is devoted to managing data into useful information for organizations. This IT continues to experience development in terms of shape, size, speed, and the ability to access multimedia and computer networks.
This development was due to the high level of competition between computer processor manufacturers such as Intel, Motorola, Apple, DEC, and so on. This processor development race has driven the growth of the IT industry, because every time a new processor is created it will require new specifications, especially regarding RAM and secondary memory capacity such as hard drives.
By looking at the stages of the development of computer processor technology, it can be concluded that computers only need a very short time to give birth to a new type of processor. Meanwhile, in the development of genetics, to produce genetic manipulations that make humans smarter, it takes an average of 18 years, so "if humans are not vigilant, computers will take over the role of humans to dominate this planet," said Stephen Hawking.
. Furthermore, in a short time will appear the next generations with a variety of extraordinary innovations. However, information technology does not always provide positive influence or benefits. If the family is going to use this technology, it is first necessary to understand and avoid its negative effects.

The Negative Impact of Information Technology on Child Development (Review of Islamic Psychology)
The positive impact of the use of information technology has been felt in many areas of life including government, business, education, and so on. There is also ease of communication through social media, where users can access it anytime and anywhere, by anyone without any age limit. But the negative impact on child development is also not small. This negative impact arises due to misuse of information technology, namely: • Excessive Use Of Information Technology Children and adolescents still cannot control the intensity of the use of information technology in their daily lives, even though their motivation is still influenced by the pleasure principle. So if he feels happy accessing the internet for various things (social media, etc.) then he will repeat it and it will become a habit that is difficult to break.
Something excessive according to Islamic teachings is something that must be avoided, both in terms of worship and daily activities. Something excessive will cause losses because humans will only follow their desires and become people who are lost. Moreover, for children and adolescents who still have difficulty controlling themselves, excessive use of technology will only make it difficult for children to break free from these habits. Al Qur'an Surat Al Maidah: 77, states: "O People of the Book, do not exaggerate (exceed the limits) in a way that is not true in your religion. And do not follow your desires and those who have gone astray before (before the advent of Muhammad) and they have misled most (people), and they have strayed from the straight path."

• The Use Of Information Technology That Does Not Have An
Educative Function Childhood and adolescence is a period of development from various aspects and includes the golden age, where the peaks of the sensitive period of learning lie at this age. The stimulus that is beneficial for children's learning is highly recommended, however, the use of information technology for educational functions must also be limited because of the side effects of the technology itself. If only educational functions must be limited, then use for things that are not related to the learning process should indeed be avoided.
Below is a description of the negative impact of using information technology on child development in various aspects. These aspects are related to one another, for example, physical development is related to intellectual, emotional, social, and moral development, and so on.

The Impact of Using Information Technology on Children's Physical Development
Many studies have proven that gadgets and other wireless equipment that produce electromagnetic fields (EMF) and radio frequency radiation (RFR), cause serious health problems that harm children and adolescents. These studies state that EMF and RFR cause neurodevelopmental (neural development) and neurobehavioral (neural relations with behavior and thought) problems. In this neural process, changes in DNA and genetic expression (epigenetics) occur which cause retardation in terms of memory, learning, cognition, attention, and behavior, where the manifestations are similar to autism and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) (Cindy Sage & Ernesto Burgio, 2017).
Research on the effect of RFR also explains the effect of using gadgets with deadly gliomas (brain tumors), where the highest risk is in children and adolescents under the age of 20. WHO (World Health Organization) conducted a study in 13 countries about the increased risk of brain cancer, where RFR is classified as one of the causes (Cindy Sage & Ernesto Burgio, 2017).

The Impact of Using Information Technology on Children's Intellectual Development
The intellectual development or intelligence of children develops very quickly in the early years of a child's life.
• At the age of 4 years, the intelligence capacity has reached about 50%.
• At the age of 8 years, it reaches 80% • Reached the culmination point of 100% at the age of 18 years.
• Golden age (golden age) in the age range 0-6 years The golden age is a period when children begin to be sensitive or sensitive to accept various development efforts.
Therefore, misuse of information technology and wireless-based technologies such as television, video, virtual games, or play stations will cause children to experience some disturbances in thinking functions, especially in children in their golden age. In school children (at all levels including pre-school) there have been reports of disturbances in concentration, disturbances in gross and fine motor movements, and disturbances in communicating with adults.
Research by Sage and Burgio (Op.cit. Sage & Burgio), mentions a similar thing, namely the negative impact of using wireless technology on children's intellectual development, including: • Impaired Cognition is a decrease in cognitive abilities, including memory and thought processes. In someone who is cognitively impaired, there is an increased risk of Alzheimer's disease and other dementias. • Problems with concentration, namely almost all studies on the impact of wireless technology report concentration problems in children and adolescents between the ages of 8 -17 years. • MicroRNA activity in the brain is low, namely low RNA activity affects children's ability to store information in the brain and the ability to translate thought processes into behavior. Apart from the influence of radiofrequency radiation (RFR) and electromagnetic waves, the use of information technology spoils children's brains because it presents many stimuli at one time, for example: watching television or YouTube. Children will receive many stimuli at once, namely sound, color, motion, light, and shape (five stimuli at once) so children are not trained to absorb just one or two stimuli. For example, a child has difficulty listening to story questions or "going out". The child's brain becomes spoiled.
Based on the data and facts above, it is fair to say that misuse of information technology in children will cause a decrease in children's intelligence. An indicator of decreased intelligence is that children who like gadgets, watch television, play games and watch videos have lower reading, absorption, and memory abilities than those who do not like to access these media.

The Impact of Using Information Technology on Children's Emotional Development
The results of Sage and Burgio's research (Op.cit. Sage & Burgio) state that the consequences of access to gadgets and various information technologies are several things related to children's emotional development, including: • Anxiety. In addition to the influence of RFR, anxiety can also occur due to worries that many things will be left behind if you do not access cyberspace through gadgets. There is something called Low Battery Anxiety (LBA) Syndrome, which is anxiety due to a cell phone battery that will run out soon. 90% of mobile phone users have experienced this syndrome. • Hostile attitude. The term that is currently going viral about hostility in cyberspace is hate speech, there is an image of social media that can overturn the social psyche of its users. It's not hard to find insults in the comments and social media accounts. • Behavioral problems and rule violations (conduct disorder). Conduct disorder is an emotional disorder and deviant behavior that violates the norms that have been taught by parents and schools. • Increased stress hormones. When a person is stressed, he will feel an increased heart rate, faster breathing, tense muscles, and increased blood pressure. These things then affect children in their emotional development, where children do not develop heart intelligence or emotional intelligence. Even though emotional intelligence is very necessary for the development of children's character and the formation of a strong personality. Emotional intelligence is related to several things, namely: self-knowledge, intuitive sensitivity, close relationships with oneself and others, development of emotional sources: love, care, appreciation, compassion, ability to overcome obstacles, and fighting power.
The inability of children and adolescents to develop high emotional intelligence will cause them difficulties in making decisions in their lives, tend to be easily influenced by surrounding circumstances which they think are uncomfortable, difficult to accept input from others, and selfish. Children and adolescents like this will become adults who find it difficult to adapt and have difficulty optimizing their potential.

The Impact of Using Information Technology on Children's Social Development
The social development of children and adolescents is closely related to internet addiction and dependency because the internet world will become a virtual world where they get satisfaction from pseudo-social relationships. The longer they are trapped in the virtual world, children and adolescents will build a pseudo-social world which makes it difficult for them to escape and return to the real world.
Aspects of Internet Addiction, there are six aspects of internet addiction including: • Silence, namely special behavior that appears when accessing the internet such as swearing when disturbed while accessing the internet, such as getting angry when disturbed while online, and fear of feeling bored and empty when unable to access the internet.
• Excessive use, namely excessive use of the internet such as hours of internet use that exceed the planned limit and reduced hours of sleep as a result of accessing the internet. • Neglect work, namely the disruption of the quality of hours and work as a result of using the internet. • Anticipation is always waiting time to access the internet.
• Lack of control, namely the inability to control Internet use.
• Neglect social life, namely leaving his social life and preferring to access the internet.
Several factors can cause individuals to experience Internet Addiction, namely the interaction between internet users in two-way communication, availability of internet facilities, lack of supervision, motivation of individual internet users, and lack of individual ability to control behavior (Widiana, Retnowati, dan Hidayat, 2004).
Daydreaming, being alone, lonely, and doing things excessively are characteristics of withdrawal behavior and something that is done by teenagers is no longer in the context of killing time but just spending it without a clear purpose because they are unable to blend in with their group or in other words fail to build a friendship with other people Mappiare (in Hapsari and Ariana, 2015).

The Impact of Using Information Technology on Children's Moral Development Aggressiveness
Movies, various videos, and games with violent nuances can shape aggressive behavior in children. Aggressiveness is a habit that is developed together with the nervous system and is repeatedly internalized from childhood. Children who watch television programs or other media that are full of violence show more aggressive behavior than those who do not watch violent shows.
A study conducted by Doctor Nelly Alia-Klein from Mount Sinai Hospital, New York, proved that there was an increase in the activity of the orbitofrontal cortex, which is part of the brain that controls emotions related to decision-making and self-control when viewing violent shows. Their blood pressure also increases.
Many studies have explained the relationship between aggressiveness and viewing of violence, including research in Malaysia involving 216 adolescents aged 13-17, which stated that children who so far prefer viewing violence are more accepting of aggressiveness and agree with it (Hassan, Md.S. dkk, 2009).

Pornography
Pornography is a negative impact of internet access that is difficult to avoid. Every page, whether intentionally or not, is always infiltrated by pornographic content. Not only do porn websites, porn ads, and porn movies circulate freely on the internet, but social media is also not free from pornography shows. For example, Facebook posts which often smell pornographic, or emoticons on WhatsApp which tend to be pornographic. If not careful, anyone, including children and adolescents can be exposed to pornography.
The condition of adolescents who are still unstable, allows them to imitate pornographic behavior seen on the web or social media. Roviqoh's research reported that 84.4% of respondents were aroused after pornographic shows and as many as 2.2% ended by having sexual intercourse and 31.5% masturbated.
Pornography itself goes through several stages so that it can then influence the attitude and personality of adolescents towards these immoral values. The stages of exposure to pornography consist of four stages, namely addiction, escalation, desensitization, and act out (Cline, B.Victor, 2001) • Addiction is the effect of addiction. Once someone likes pornographic material then he will have the desire to see and get back the material. • Escalation is an increase in the need for sex material that is heavier, more explicit, more sensational, and more deviant than previously consumed. • Desensitization is the stage when material about sex that was previously taboo, immoral, and degrading/harassing human dignity is slowly being seen as something normal and even usually becomes insensitive to victims of sexual violence. • Act-out occurs when there is an increasing tendency to engage in pornographic sexual behavior that so far has only been seen to be applied in real life. These stages of pornography can occur in any teenager who accesses the internet without parental control because once they watch and enjoy pornography, they will become addicted. Furthermore, teenagers need pornographic material that is heavier, so what they are looking for is something more sensational and deviant, such as movies with scenes of homosexual intercourse and so on (escalation). Increase again in the more inhuman-like love scenes of rape (desensitization). In the end, there is a tendency to perform the sexual behavior that one watches, not just watching, but practicing it.

The Role of the Family in Facing the Impact of Advances in Information Technology on the Lives of Children and Adolescents
Family functions and roles apply to every family member, including children and adolescents. In dealing with the impact of advances in information technology, families, especially parents, must understand what children and adolescents need during their growth period, so that the fulfillment of these needs can be optimal and proportional, so that there are no excessive fulfillments, such as the use of gadgets. Excessive internet access for children and adolescents certainly creates an imbalance because there are things that are then neglected related to the function and role of the family.
The functions of the family include meeting affection needs, intense involvement, behavior control, internalizing values , and rules, solving problems, healthy communication, and dividing roles. If these functions can run well, there will be no deviant things done by family members. For example: if a teenager's needs for affection are met, then he doesn't feel the need to seek audience attention with strange behavior on social media, or chat for a long time on his smartphone.
Family functions that can run well, of course, have implications for fulfilling certain individual needs without being too excessive in accessing the media. The communication theory that discusses one's motives for using media is the Uses and Gratification theory initiated by Katz, Gurevitch, and Hazz who stated that "a user has several complex needs that need to be met through the use of various media". The U & G theory identifies five groups of basic needs in media, namely cognitive needs (obtaining information, knowledge, and understanding), affective needs (emotions, pleasure/satisfaction, and feelings), and personal integrative needs (credibility, stability, and status). , needs for social integration (interacting with friends, family, etc.), and needs for de-escalation (escape and diversion) (Katz, E., Gurevitch, M. dan Haas, H. 1973).
Diverse individual needs require the fulfillment of media and nonmedia. The logic is that if non-media needs are met (such as by family, friends, interpersonal communication, etc.) and then are not met, then individuals will seek fulfillment by utilizing the media, bearing in mind that currently the media used can be very diverse and all are available through technology. wireless. The following is an overview of individual needs and how to fulfill them by utilizing the media:

Teori Uses and Gratification
U & G theory can be used to analyze the motives of children and adolescents in using the internet, what are the prevailing trends, who is involved besides the family, and how the family directs children to relate to the outside environment, thus it becomes clear the role of the family in creating balance in life. the use of this technology can be described as follows: 1. Social Environment • Media type: internet • Media content: knowledge, entertainment, information • Media exposure: if there is no control and it is too much, you will experience addiction • The social content of the media: varies because each individual can become a journalist (social media) 5. Media satisfaction (function) (family role) • Observing the media • Diversion to other things that are not fun • Shows personal identity as desired, even if it's real or fake Based on the analysis of the motives of children and adolescents in accessing internet media starting from aspects of the social environment, individual needs, non-media sources of satisfaction, media use, and individual satisfaction with media, several recommendations can be formulated for the role of the family in dealing with the impact of information technology on life. children and adolescents, as follows:

The role of the family and all community groups in encouraging the government to be serious about accommodating the developmental needs of children and counteracting the negative impacts of information technology through various policies, regulations, and legislation.
Children and adolescents are the largest users of the internet in Indonesia, based on the results of a 2017 survey (Katz, E., Gurevitch, M. and Haas, H. 1973). data obtained: 75.5% of children and adolescents aged 13 -18 years use the internet. This percentage exceeds users aged 19-34 years (74.23%), aged 35-54 years (44.06%), and >54 years (15.72%), this shows that the biggest consumers of the internet are children and adolescents, thus great attention should be paid to this age group. All internet-based development must pay attention to the positive and negative impacts for that age, for example, pornographic content on the internet, gambling, etc.

The role of the family in directing children to choose peers who have a positive impact
The existence of peers is very important in the development of children. Peer groups facilitate children's learning to interact in group life, how to behave in groups, how to get along with friends of the same age, other types of friends, etc., learn to control behavior, develop age-relevant skills, and share problems and feelings. Relationships with peers, both men, and women in this period, will help them in adulthood to relate well to others at work and to have healthy relationships with partners (Selvam, T. 2017.).
Parents must play a role in directing and selecting peers for their children. In research in the Sumatra area (Murni, Susri. 2015.), parents choose peers with the following considerations: those who comply with applicable norms and rules and have good character, such as not liking to go out at night, speak politely, do not choose a fashion style that overdoing it, praying diligently, going straight home from school, etc.
The behavior of peers with good character will affect children's access to the internet because most children access certain content based on information from their peers.

The role of the family in building children's responsibility in using the internet
Responsibility must be instilled from an early age in children in the family context. Hidayati mentions several characteristics of a responsible person, as follows: 1) diligent or not lazy; 2) excited; 3) having a strong effort to complete each task, and 4) do not like to blame others when they fail. A child responsibility learning guide at a school in North Carolina USA, mentions how children show responsibility, which includes: • Doing and completing all homework and submitting it on time without having to be reminded • Carry out commitments -commitments that have been agreed upon, even when the child does not like it • Accepting responsibility for mistakes made and trying to learn lessons. Don't make excuses and blame others • Safeguarding his and other people's belongings, and returning borrowed items.
• Find out what to do and do it immediately • Make wise choices, such as choosing healthy food, wearing a helmet, and so on • Do everything your best, others will judge.
Indicators of responsibility for children and adolescents like the explanation above need to be applied in the use of information media, such as: 1) children use the internet for important needs only (school lessons and experimental practice) and this must be emphasized so that it becomes a habit, 2 ) making agreementsagreements made with all family members regarding internet use (duration, tools used, content opened, etc.), 3) maintaining and caring for internet equipment, files, etc., 4) not leaving other responsibilities at home, for example, picket cleaning, etc., 5) make wise choices by not clicking on suspicious content, 6) comply with all the rules wherever it may be.

The role of the family in guiding children to use the internet for knowledge
Research states that the quality of attachment of female adolescents to mothers decreases throughout adolescence (as well as males to their fathers), this can be explained by psychoanalytic theory, where same-sex parents are used as a reference point for identification (Buist et al, 2002). This phenomenon is called deidealization, namely the period when adolescents try to find their identity and develop into autonomous individuals with their own identity (Steinberg, 2001in Buist et al, 2002. They begin to challenge the values, ideas, and perceptions taught by their parents, they no longer see their parents as know-it-alls. Therefore, the guidance that parents do in utilizing the internet as a learning medium is by: First, making children "friends" not as opponents, even though many children's attitudes tend to conflict with parents' ideas. Teenagers need their parents because they need the advice and understanding of those who are older and have more life experience. However, they also need boundaries, where they do not like it when their parents interfere in their affairs when they are with their peers.
Second, parents can direct their children, imposing the ideals and values / ideas of parents on their children. Teenagers are in the process of trying new things, they must be given enough space to then make their own choices.
Third, encourage teenagers to have a dependence on adults other than their parents, as much as possible, it can be relatives, teachers, religious leaders, and others. Usually, children pay more attention to what is conveyed by adults other than their parents, for example, teachers can guide children on how to access knowledge via the internet, use the internet for positive things, and so on.

The role of the family in creating warmth interacts with everyday life
Warmth in the family is needed by children and adolescents because their emotions are unstable, they need a place where they can understand what they are feeling without judging. The communication model built by parents greatly influences attachment and intimacy with parents and increases achievement motivation (Maximo, SI. Dkk. 2011.).
If attachment, intimacy, and achievement motivation are created in the family, then the existence of the internet is in its proper position, namely as a tool to gain knowledge and increase work productivity and efficiency, not as a tool to get affection needs or as a place to escape.
The types of parental communication in Maximo et al's research are assertive (adult ego state), loving (nurturing parent ego state), aggressive (critical parent ego state), and passive (child ego state). The results of the study show that children and adolescents prefer to spend time with parents who show affection and support them (loving style), compared to parents who always remind them of their shortcomings and limit them (assertive style). Assertiveness is not related to attachment because children who need warmth will feel threatened and choose to withdraw from this interaction, besides that parental assertiveness can be misunderstood by children. The passive style is a communication model for people who are full of fear, and this style of parents can be imitated by their children. Whereas the aggressive style will cause parenting to be dominated by fear, so that the child will feel insecure, find it difficult to find self-identity, and have low self-esteem (Maximo, SI. Dkk. 2011.).

The role of the family in encouraging children to develop alternative activities that have a positive impact on children's development
A hobby is an alternative activity that creates a feeling of entertainment and pleasure. Self-determination theory is usually used to explain hobbies. This theory explains the three basic psychological needs of the individual and their influence on the individual when he continues to do what he wants. These needs are: 1) competency needs: children find challenges that match their capabilities and can improve these abilities. Competence is not only related to certain skills but rather to feeling confident because you can do something. 2) Relatedness needs: the desire to be connected with other people, where children are considered by their environment and accepted in their interaction environment. 3) the need for independence, H.Grotevant, and C.Cooper relate independence to two kinds of processes, namely: self-affirmation (gaining self-confidence and responsibility) and the process of separation as opposed to other people. The parent-child relationship is the basis for children to learn to stand alone and at the same time build cooperation with others. Adolescents who have warm emotional relationships, and receive care and support from good parents, will tend to be independent in making decisions and expressing themselves (Karabanova, Olga A & Poskrebysheva, Nataliya N. 2013.) Thus, the existence of hobbies besides being able to fulfill cognitive needs (competence), can also meet affectional needs (independence), and social needs (relatedness), so that alternative positive activities can prevent children and adolescents from using the internet excessively. These alternative activities must be considered properly and must be productive activities and not activities that interfere with the child's development process, for example, bad hobbies: playing games, watching videos, etc. good hobbies: making science experiments, sports, nature lovers, and others.

The role of the family in introducing types of mass media and
sources of knowledge, so that children understand that different media are needed for certain needs.
The use of information technology is not the main learning medium for children in developed countries, the first thing to emphasize is how children like to read books because the process of reading books stimulates the development of children's intelligence. Therefore books must be introduced first, because if the internet is introduced, children may not like reading books.

The role of the family in providing an understanding of healthy internet use, and explaining its positive and negative impacts
The duration of time for using the internet must be emphasized in children and adolescents related to physiological effects because wireless technology wave radiation greatly affects the development of a child's brain. Parents must understand this to children, for example by giving examples of cases of brain disorders that occur due to excessive use of gadgets.
Gadget content, especially pornography must be anticipated, at least children can identify links that indicate pornography, so they can avoid it. Parents also need to make their children understand the dangers of pornography and the damage that pornography can do to brain development, etc.
The ethics of social media need to be emphasized. Children need to understand that internet digital footprints cannot be completely erased, what they share there will be stored forever, so children and adolescents must maintain decency and behavior in using social media.

The role of the family in supervising children on the internet, and
being vigilant when there are signs of addiction Parents need to understand the symptoms that lead to internet addiction so that children and adolescents are not addicted and in the end, it is difficult to let go of this addiction. Parents should be the first to know the symptoms and act immediately if necessary to seek professional help.

CONCLUSION
The motives that children and adolescents are trying to fulfill in using the internet can be replaced by the role and involvement of the family in meeting these needs. Parents act as "agents" who educate children on how to interact with the internet so that parents will be a place to ask questions to children. Parents can apply warm and loving communication patterns when interacting with their teenagers so that they will create feelings of attachment, independence, and achievement motivation.
The need for children to surf the internet can also be diverted through positive and productive alternative hobby activities. This needs to be done because apart from being a hobby to develop skills that children like hobbies foster self-confidence, develop social skills, and form independence.
Children and adolescents must also be instilled with a sense of responsibility, among others by teaching them to comply with agreed commitments, for example, the duration of using the internet must be mutually agreed upon and obeyed.
The internet should be used as a useful tool for children's development, both in terms of physical, cognitive, emotional, social, and moral development of children. Do not let the existence of the internet hinder children's development from all sides, or even worse things happen, namely family relationships that are "dry", and individualistic, and can shift family functions over time.