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by Cathern Leboeuf (2020-03-10)


It's also not sage to suppose that consensual force fantasies are more common amoung rape survivors (from what we know, they aren't), but some survivors have expressed/do express that it can sometimes feel healing to engage in a form of 'forced" sex in which they, as they were not during actual rape, DO have control.If your partner is also interested in, and feels good about, this sort of roleplay, and you also feel good about it, and the two of you can negotiate it as you would any other kind of sex, have sex safety in place as you would with any other kind of sex (including use of a safeword, as you suggested, that is understood to mean stop the moment it's said, but also with it being clear that HE can stop at any time), then there's really no reason to posit this kind of sex would be any less safe or healthy than any other. As with any other kind of sex, too, but particularly with something which may or will press against the edges of anyone's boundaries, the more specific you can both get about what you are and are not okay with in advance, the better. For instance, you say you want a safeword for if this gets "too rough," so it's also a good idea to talk in advance about what you think or know might be too rough, so your partner doesn't go there at all.Just be aware that he may or may not want to engage in this, and remember that just like many people may not want to enact this kind of sex from the bottom, plenty of people won't want to do it from the top, either.Even though this really isn't about rape, not everyone wants to roleplay being someone forcing even when it's not for real another person into sex.

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